I ran my first group workshops at a treatment centre in New Jersey, US, back in 2016. I was invited to create a space in which 6 men felt safe enough to unpack whatever they felt ready to explore with me. Many workshops later, I understand the power of working with a group of men and the benefits to be gleaned from men embracing together the inner peace and beauty to be found in vulnerability. Yes: that dreaded ‘V’ word. Men all around the world are taught not to show weakness, not to cry, that to ask for help is weak. Countless little boys are told to ‘be a man’ or ‘not to behave like a little girl’ by one or both parents in misguided attempts to toughen up their boys as they eagerly race toward manhood. Desperate to prove they are good enough or brave enough or strong enough to live in someone else’s shadow, they are in reality merely acting on a stage, disconnected from their true inner selves. So many live their lives acting out roles cultured in childhood to keep parents happy, acting out a life that is not their own.

I have witnessed hundreds of men weighed down by abusive myths taught or even beaten into them in childhood. I often see my job as one of ‘myth-busting’, helping men to discern the difference between what they were told to feel and how they were told to behave Vs what they may actually have been feeling and thinking for decades. Secrecy divides; empathy heals and encourages collaboration. Some of the most profound and enlightening moments surface during workshops when one man shares something of his story. Another then expresses deep emotional relief as he realises he is not alone, that his life is not uniquely painful and that finally he is amongst others who understand his inner agony. The unveiling of self has begun and this is what you will experience in my workshop.

Once unearthed, what to do with that inner turmoil? I help men examine the journey that has brought them to my door and then guide them to consider choosing a different path beyond. When a group of men come to similar conclusions, recognising the value in shared perspective and a healthier collective wisdom, there is every chance they will leave ready to make healthier choices born of solid exploration and measured emotional investment. In a nutshell, my workshop provides an opportunity to learn to live by listening to your heart instead of letting your head talk you back into a continuance of the damaging behaviours that brought you to your knees in the first place.